EULOGY
Good afternoon family and friends. Thanks you so much for joining us in the celebration of life for our mother Marieke. We appreciate your presence. One of Marieke's wishes was that we have a celebration of life in the summer when the sun is at its brightest and warmest. A day like today.
Marieke had a unique life, one which straddled two continents, with many varied experiences, some exciting and others challenging. She had seven children, twelve grandchildren and now 3 great grandchildren . The 3rd was born this morning at 5:37 in San Diego to MAra, our sister Liesbeth's daughter his is the reason they are unable to be with us this afternoon. Grandfather Pasquale and Uncle Giuliano are here.
Born in 1931 the historical city of Maastricht in southern Holland, she was the youngest of 4 children. She lived in Maastricht for most of her formative years. The many stories she told of her younger years included details about a famous church (Onze Lieve Vrouwe Kerk), her mother, her Wirst and beloved dog, Teddie, her school friends, stories about her family and, of course, some unpleasant memories about living through WWII.
Unfortunately Mom’s mother passed away when she was 14, catapulting her to Amsterdam where her father and eldest sister were already living. Mom did not like the city and she could not have Teddie with her. So at age 15, she left Amsterdam and went to work as an assistant at a Dashound kennel in central Holland, with the Family Pauw. She lived with this family for about four years until, following some of the children in that family who had already moved to Alberta, and under some pressure of the father of the family who wanted some goods delivered to one of the daughters already living there, Mom also decided to immigrate to Canada.
On November 2, 1951, just a week short of her 20th birthday and after having travelled by ship (the Volendam) for two weeks, Mom arrived in Halifax at Pier 21. (As an aside, Pier 21 is now a wonderful museum worth visiting. I did so 3 years ago. It is set up in such a way that it is very easy to imagine the culture shock Marieke, and many newcomers must have experienced upon arrival in Canada.) Mom had no knowledge of English at the time and, as many immigrants, had a limited knowledge of the rules, and customs of Canada. In spite of all of this, she hopped on a west bound train for Rocky Mountain House in central Alberta, where she was to deliver a trunk of belongings to one of the Pauw siblings. Mom was shocked at the primitive conditions of these rural homes. But she was there and she had to Wind work.
Mom ultimately stayed in Alberta for 4 years, working Wirst as a companion to a young newly immigrated English mother living in 100 Mile house. In spite of her hearing impairment she learned English. Then she moved to Edmonton, where she worked at the University of Alberta research lab taking care of the animals and making many friends with members in the local Dutch community. She made lifelong friends here: Hanneke and other members of the Leenders family, and also joined the Dutch folk dance group. (Hanneke's sister and her husband Stan are here with us today.) Marieke's basement studio apartment in Edmonton, where she had many parties, was the hub of social activity among her friends, most of whom still lived at home with their strict Dutch parents.
It was in Edmonton, through mutual friends, that in 1955 Marieke met John Vandenbosch, our father. Their shared interest was rural living: John wanted to live on the farm, Marieke wanted to live out in the country and have many animals. At the time of their meeting, our father had recently purchased a piece of property in Lumby. So, after a brief courtship, Lumby bound she was!
One of mom’s favourite stories to tell us was her unorthodox arrival in Lumby. Dad had already gone to settle on the land a couple of months before. Mom took the train from Edmonton to Kamloops, where Dad was supposed to meet her, but due to a communication glitch with the telegram, no email in those days, he was not there. The station master at the Kamloops train station, seeing this young woman standing on the platform with a bunch of suitcases, a couple of rabbits in crates and a huge spunky bloodhound on a leash, decided to intervene. He took Mom to a local Dutch family who decided to make an outing of it and drove her all the way to Lumby, where she was dropped off at the local police station. The Lumby police ofWicer did not know who John Vandenbosch was (this was 1955!!) but the name sounded Dutch so he also took Mom to a local Dutch family. Though Mom drove with the young ofWicer in his patrol car, Beatrijs, the bloodhound, was not allowed inside the vehicle. Much to the ofWicer’s embarrassment, Beatrijs followed the patrol car throughout the streets of Lumby, howling and baying behind the vehicle. The ofWicer promptly dropped Mom off with this Dutch family, and after some phone calls, someone knowing John Vandenbosch was located, and Dad came to pick Mom up and take her to the property.
Mom and Dad were married in June 1955. The reception was held at Bob and Helen Fosbery’s home. a neighbour a few miles away.
Mom and Dad's Wirst home was a small prospectors/trappers cabin on the property. There was no running water and no electricity. However, Mom, with her great knack for making things gezellig (a Dutch word loosely meaning cosy, warm and a happy place to be), created a home that was very gezellig. And they did have animals. They had goats, a horse named Flicka, and chickens and geese. I was the Wirst born. The following year, Roland arrived. Unfortunately when Roland was 8 or 9 months old, all was lost in a house (chimney) Wire.
We then moved to an old cabin on an adjacent property which Mom and Dad had purchased. The family grew. Liesbeth , Hanna and Ivor were born during the years we lived in this house. Then in the summer of 1962, yet another house Wire, this time electrical line from the power plant to the house (mom was doing laundry in her old wringer washer). Once again.... All was lost!! (Show candle holder) Amazingly Mom had to run into the burning house to retrieve our brother Ivor from his crib. A very courageous move! Mom had to prevent me from running into the blazing house to get my dolls.
After a short stint in a rented house with water and electricity (a real novelty for us as we did not have these luxuries in either of the previous homes) we moved into a third house on the property. This was a house built by Dad a few of his friends and neighbours. Saskia and Jennifer were born here. We lived in the house for 8 years until Mom and Dad separated and Mom and children moved to Kelowna , where Mom stayed for about 13 years. Mom struggled as a single parent , getting groceries on the bicycle with the “Wietse tas” and Jenny in the bicycle seat. In Kelowna she also became friends with another Dutch family, Mary and Tony Koning, who are here today. After all of the kids but Jenny had left home, Mom moved to Victoria, then later to Regina until she found her dream home hear Dundurn, Saskatchewan where she lived for 10 years. It was a beautiful turn of the century home, full of character. Mom has very fond memories of her time there but the long winters and isolation made it difWicult. Ten years ago, she moved her animals and ALL her belongings to her house on Protection Island in the Nanaimo harbour.
Many of you had to opportunity to attend Marieke’s 80th birthday party last August, almost exactly a year ago. We all have very fond memories of this day with family and friends. We have photos posted on the fence for all to enjoy.
Mom was diagnosed with liver cancer in late February of this year. Like most of us, Mom did not want to face the idea of death. In fact, she was convinced that the doctors had made a mistake. However, as the weeks passed and she became weaker, she was more accepting of her illness. From late February on, she was surrounded by family. She shared wonderful stories and memories with us over tea, digestive biscuits, homemade French and sweet potato fries, a wonderfully successful rijstevlaai , ( a Dutch tart)Hawkins Cheezies, and beer, which for some reason she craved.
Mom was a sun worshipper to the very end. The day before she passed away was a beautiful sunny day. She was sitting outside in a wheel chair wrapped in one of her favourite blankets, wearing a favourite tuque. We spent several hours with her, moving her wheelchair in order to keep her in the sun! A day later, on March 7 at 7:07 pm, with her 5 daughters at her bedside, Mom took her last breath. She was 80.
Mom left us with many legacies.
Mom was an avid reader herself and instilled a love of reading in all of us. She read to us as children in both Dutch and English. Mom spent many hours reading for pleasure and you rarely went wrong giving her a book as a gift. After she passed, we spent many a Wine hour going through her books marvelling at the diversity of topics. We also found many little written annotations in books, reminding us of what she might have been thinking at various periods in her life. Most of her books were donated to the Protection Island Public Library, slated to open in September of this year.
Mom has always had a great love for all animals, especially dogs. No matter where she lived, she always had at least one cat and one dog, often more furry creatures. On Protection Island she often had a racoon visit! These animals were a part of her family. With the exception of myself, all of her children have at least one pet.
Going for walks was also an integral part of Mom’s (and by extension) our life. She walked daily no matter what the weather. The walks were not your typical city walks along parks and sidewalks Rather, she ventured into the surrounding forests and less trodden areas. A venture into nature, the great outdoors. ! As children, we did not always want to partake on theses walks. But mom persevered. We are now all diligent walkers! Always having fresh Wlowers in the house was also very important to Mom. No matter the season, she had plants and Wlowers in the house.
The Wine arts, music, famous renaissance painters, ballet were some of Marieke's passions. I have fond memories of Mom dancing to the classical music emanating from the transistor radio in our homes in Lumby. I also have fond memories of attending Jeunesse Musical concerts in Vernon with Mom. I am not sure how we got there as she didn’t drive, but she managed to Wind a way. (Lithy reminds me that Mom and I sometimes got rides with my teacher, Mrs. O’Neill, who also attended but other times we would take the Greyhound bus and have to walk a long distance, in the dark, to get home.)
Compassion for others was one of Marieke’s fortés. She taught us, from a young age to respect people from various cultures and walks of life. She taught us about
the importance of travel and learning other languages. She thought there should be such a thing as a “world citizen.” Mom tried to instil in us a fondness for our Dutch roots. Mom was also someone who tried to share what she had with others. Throughout her life, even during periods when she did not have much to spare, she donated money to many organizations, from Foster Parents, to Oxfam, to Peta, to Unicef. When she realized that she was really dying, she willed that in honour of our brother Ivor who passed away in 2008, 1/7 of her estate was to be donated to charities.
And of course, we have the word “Gezellig.” Mom had a very Wine ability to make things gezellig. She could decorate the simplest home in the most original of ways. I used to tell her that she should have been a interior decorator. We have all inherited this ability. We can all make a house gezellig!
Mom questioned life. She seldom followed the crowd, the latest trend nor did she accept the status quo. She instinctively questioned things, from the doctor’s diagnosis to the latest miracle cleaning product. Through her example, she instilled in all of us a healthy scepticism for all that was new and supposedly better and taught us to question before accepting.
Throughout her life Mom had many difWicult times. Her hearing loss, which started as a young child and got worse as the years progressed, was a source of great conWlict in her life. However, in spite of these difWiculties, Mom continued to impart to us this love of nature, this love of reading, this compassion for people and animals. But perhaps most importantly, despite her own disappointments and our difWicult circumstances growing up, Mom was able to instil in her children a genuine hope for the future and a genuine expectation that our lives could be better than what our current circumstances might foretell. And it was Mom’s hope and tenacious belief in the abilities of, and possibilities for, her children that allowed us to become the people we are today. For this I will be forever grateful. And though Mom was not always quick with compliments, I know that she was very proud of what we have all accomplished.
Mom loved the moon, especially the full moon. As mentioned earlier, she also loved sunny days. She was happiest when the sun was shining. So when we see the full moon or feel the warmth of the sun, let's think of her.
Read Bert's Poem "Wat"
